ACROSS THE HIGHLANDS
  There were two big flatbed trailers with big sheeted-down cylindrical loads
with rounded ends, and Captain Buckley (RN) and many of Smith & Malton's men
stood to attention in ranks in their work kit, as also did Optimus Prime and
Huffer in their robot forms, over 20 feet high. "One per load." Jack thought,
but a loudhailer said "Optimus Prime and Huffer from Wernicke's will front and
back end one load.". Jack wondered who would pull the other load, as there were
only two real artic cab Transformers so far that he knew of; but the loudhailer
continued: "And to front-and-back-end the other load, two newcomers to the real
world among the Transformers ...". Jack looked to the left and saw, standing
high above the workmen, two who he had never expected to see real.
  "Soundwave and Blaster!" Jack exclaimed, "Except they've got wheels on like
Optimus has, and the toys haven't, nor in the stories.". It was them indeed,
complete with Blaster's L-shaped `ears' and Soundwave's battlemented head.
  "OK! Transform and hitch up to your loads!" said the loudhailer. Optimus
folded his arms behind his back, bent his hips at a right angle backwards,
retracted his head, and thus transformed into his artic cab form. Huffer also
transformed.
  "They're taking the two loads to Thurso, that's at the northeast corner of
Scotland. I suppose they're for the navy base at Scapa Flow in the Orkneys."
said one of Smith & Malton's men to Jack.
  "Soundwave's the purple one, he's the Decepticons' comms [= communications]
`man', Blaster's the somewhat orangish red one, he's the Autobots' comms `man'.
They transform to portable stereos. Soundwave likes classical music, Blaster
likes pop music ..." Jack explained, "What are they doing?".
  Soundwave and Blaster folded their arms behind their backs and folded their
hip joints backwards, and retracted their heads, as they transformed
Optimus-fashion. "Lorries! That's wrong!" Jack exclaimed.
  "Come on!" said the workman, "Metal can't shrink like in the stories!, and
what use'd be a portable stereo as big as an artic cab? Anyway, `Soundwave' and
`Blaster' are all too suitable names for big noisy artics!".
  Optimus pulled the smaller load, and Huffer pushed it. Soundwave followed
pulling the larger load, and Blaster pushed it. A navy man and a man from Smith
& Malton's rode in each of Optimus's and Soundwave's cabs. A police car led, for
these loads were the very heavy sort that had to go very slow. [308] They left
Smith & Malton's and went onto the M5 northbound, through the intricate tangle
of junctions west of Birmingham, and onto the M6, and set off for the north. The
usual number of Transformers fans watched them.
  "Who are the two with the back load?" a boy watching them asked, "They've got
Transformer badges on, so they're Transformers; but I don't know any lorry
Transformers those colours. Motormaster's dark grey, Pipes is blue, Ultra
Magnus's cab's white.".
  Jack went home in Wheeljack to Wernicke's. The endless variety of hard
interrogations about the missing roll, and other things like it, never disturbed
his dreams again.
  Once through industrial Lancashire, the M6, like the railway before, avoids
the easy route straight up the Lune valley past Kirkby Lonsdale and instead goes
up the River Kent valley to serve Kendal and the Lake District, and then gets
into steep difficult gradients cutting across the hills around Grayrigg to the
upper Lune. Once past the head of the Kent estuary, hills started to rise
gradually higher on each side. Past Killington Lake among young woods. Past
Kendal, and the first taste of steep, grinding, fuel thirsty gradients as the
four turned right and laboured up into the Grayrigg hills, as countless heavy
road loads and railway trains had before. At last the M6 came out of the hills
and turned left up the huge straight chasm of the Tebay Gorge. The upper Lune
ran far below to their right. The sides of the M6 went at different levels.
After the M6 climbed out of the top end of the gorge onto the Shap Fells, its
sides wandered about separately for no apparent reason, but paired up again and
descended the Eden valley past Penrith. North of Carlisle it dwindled to an
ordinary dual carriageway called the A74. Opposite Gretna, famed for runaway
marriages, it crossed the river Sark into Scotland, and turned northwest. The
land was still flat. At a maximum speed of 5 mph their journey was to take
several days. The navy men and the Smith & Malton's men with them slept in their
cabs.
  After Lockerbie, hills on either side shut the road and the river Annan into a
narrowing valley ridden with insects which soon plastered their windscreens and
eye covers and headlights. Past Beattock village forested hills rose higher and
higher as the A74 followed the Evan Water up to Beattock Summit. Away from a few
valleys, farms were few. They hauled their oversized loads up ever steepening
hills. They passed Campland Hill and Whiteside Hill on their left, and Raecleuch
Rig and Tinny Bank and Errickstane Hill on their right, and the road at last
stopped climbing. A narrow valley opened before them. Down it ran the Clydes
Burn. "Is this the Clyde, bearer of ships!?" Optimus thought, "It's got a long
way to grow before it could launch much more than canoes, let alone ...". The
Daer Water ran in from the left, and the valley turned half right. Louise Wood
Law and Watchman Hill and Harryburn Brae rose ahead, no end to the hills.
Between the last two and the Clyde was the town of Elvanfoot, where they
refuelled and spent the night.
  The A74 left the Clyde valley into more hills. "Umf!" an escorting police car
driver complained over his radio to Optimus, "I was paid to catch thieves, not
to tour Scotland at 5 mph! Escorting `big indivisible loads'! Why couldn't the
Navy've taken those things off you at Liverpool or Hull?, whatever they are, and
sail or tow them to Scapa Flow? Thurso!? Furthest north I've been is Edinburgh
for the festival there.". The hills gradually got lower. They reached and turned
onto the M74, which at last reached the plain of Glasgow. They turned off it
onto the M73, which misses Glasgow and turns northeast towards Cumbernauld and
Stirling. Because of pressure from the North Sea oil industry, the road is wide
and good all the way, with bypasses for all towns (except Dunblane near
Stirling), and for ordinary traffic no being held up behind farm tractors and
caravans. They passed Dunblane and Auchterarder and Perth. The Ochil Hills
followed them on their right. Otherwise the land was flat farmland.
  "Only a village here. Lets stop here for the night." said Soundwave when they
reached Auchterarder, "Less Transformers fans and nosy people poking round our
loads. Me dragging this great thing along with three Autobots. Trust that man
Wernicke to make me as a <lorry>! Only thing to do, I'll never see Megatron or
Cybertron again, or any of the Decepticon bases in the stories.". The police car
driver got out and stretched his legs. The last weather forecast had included
veiled threats as unpleasant as any that Optimus had heard of via Prowl's
reports of that boy Paul Smith's troublemakings.
  The Highlands started suddenly. The road entered a huge narrow valley where
the River Tay came out of the mountains. King's Seat towered above on the left,
and Newtyle Hill on the right. Above them on the left also were Birnam Wood,
famed in Macbeth, and Rohallion Castle. Ahead were the towns of Birnam and
Dunkeld. The sky gradually filled with mares' tail clouds. Four miles later the
gorge opened out into a valley with steep sides and a very flat floor, an
ancient lake which had long ago filled with silt washed down from the mountains.
The sky milked over with thin high cloud which got thicker and thicker. After
9.5 miles the hills closed in again as they reached Pitlochry. There was quite a
crowd there to see them.
  The clouds were ominously dark and low as they entered the huge forested gorge
of the Pass of Killiecrankie. The road steepened. On the left rose Craig
Fonvuick and Craig an Eirionnach, and on the right Meall Uaive and Meall an
Daimh, and further away Ben Vrackie. Rain became steadily heavier as they
climbed the valley of Glengarry through the district called Atholl. No houses.
There till last century lived the Clan Macleod. They still had far to go. Not
four but six electromechanical minds passed through that empty wilderness, for
the two loads also were alive. They carried on. Soundwave and Blaster's load
complained over its radio: "How much longer before I can float and use my own
power? Why couldn't the Navy have taken me off you at Holy Loch west of Glasgow,
where they have a nuclear submarine base? instead of dragging me over the
Grampians." as heather-covered mountains rose yet higher on each side: Meall
Breac and Meall a'Bhiord on the left, and Meall nan Ruaig on the right. Their
motors ground up steepening gradients.
  A whole north gale howled and drove pelting rain like watercannon through the
Pass of Drumochter, the highest point of the journey. In Gaelic it is `Druim
Uachdar', meaning something like `the ridge of a top part'. It felt like it. It
is over 1700 feet above sea level, whereas Shap and Beattock are not much over
1000 feet up. There the road turns right through a high lonely gap between
higher mountains, crossing from the district of Atholl to the district of
Badenoch. Creagan Doire Dhonaich towered on the right. To the left were two
mountains called The Sow of Atholl and The Boar of Badenoch, and behind them
Sgairneach Mho`r and A'Mharconaich, all heather-sided, rocky, and utterly
inhospitable. From the hollow between these, called Coire Dhomhain, a stream
called Allt Dubhaig ran out and away southwards on its long journey to inhabited
places.
  [310] The long climb ended at last. After the long descent of Glen Truim they
reached the wide flat bottomed valley of Strathspey. The mountains were lower
and stood further back from the road, which bypasses all towns in the valley.
The rain blew over and the sky started to clear. Below the slopes of Creag Bheag
and Creag Bhalg, and opposite Beinn Bhuidhe, they stopped in the town of
Kingussie to refuel and let their human passengers go to the shops. The road
(the A9) continued down the Spey valley.
  Good things often don't last. The A9 left the easy valley and turned left and
climbed steadily towards Slochd Summit, the last mountain pass on their journey.
A side road turned off and sharply back down to Slochd Farm. Railway and two
roads squeezed into the narrow gap below the barren peak of Carn nam
Bain-tighearna. "I am Blaster, leader of the Autobot resistance fighters in
Polyhex on Cybertron," he thought, "and I end up here pushing this contraption
over mountains. Why did the Navy send a man to program it, and not let Optimus
or Wheeljack program it? At least we four'll get well paid for it.". The A9
dropped steadily towards Inverness, where as expected Transformers fans were
waiting at the Raigmore road junction. They refuelled, and continued along the
Inverness eastern bypass past an industrial area which seemed to be composed
largely of whisky distilleries. At last no more mountains.
  Only 130 more miles to go. The road went straight to near Invergordon, with
two enormous bridges over sea inlets at the top of the Moray Firth. The coast
road through Sutherland was monotonous and nearly empty and wearisome. The loads
were increasingly impatient to be off the trailers and into their natural
element, and the four artics were impatient to be unloaded. After Helmsdale the
place names became more Viking and less Gaelic. They passed Mybster (from
My-bolstadhr, `village of flies'), where the left turn led to Westerdale, and
the right turn to Watten (from Vatn, `water', from a nearly lake). Only nine
more miles to go! Suddenly the empty silence was broken as an F15 jet fighter
blasted only a hundred feet overhead on a training mission. "Starscream!?"
Optimus exclaimed; but there were no Decepticon badges on its swift triangular
wings. Its roar faded away westwards. The Smith & Malton's man riding in
Optimus's cab said, more jocularly: "Wowk! That was a low one! Big eagles they
have round here!". The Highlands are a favourite area for low flying training.
The empty silence returned. Nine miles later they reached Thurso harbour at
last.
  "Right!" said Captain Buckley to Optimus, "You four stay in the ferry carpark
and don't disturb or unsheet your loads till I say so. That'll be after
midnight. I'll contact the rest of the men involved with these loads.". [311]
The time came. He returned with other navy men and said to Optimus: "Right!
Leave your trailers on the ferry slip and we'll do the rest. You can go.".
  "But the trailers and the load sheets are Smith & Maltons's, they'll want them
back." Optimus objected.
  Captain Buckley muttered about "#$% civilian contractors wanting bits of their
stuff kept separate from our stuff.", and said "OK. Go back to the car park and
come back in the morning for them." and gave Optimus the cheque for the hauling.
  "Two large artic trailers are hardly `bits of stuff', and those load sheets
cost also." Optimus pointed out.
  Thurso (from Thors-aa, `Thor's stream or river') is the far end of nowhere to
most English people. There is more to see near there than may be expected. 15
miles eastwards is John o' Groats. 9 miles westwards is the Castle of Mae, where
Elizabeth the Queen Mother lives. 6 miles westwards is the atomic works at
Dounreay. The Atlantic Ocean beat on a wild rocky coast. Optimus and his
followers waited in the dark.
  "What's the point of all this secrecy?" said Optimus, "I and Wheeljack and
others, and most of Smith & Malton's men, have seen these things unsheeted, and
indeed helped to make them. And the smaller one, the one that I and Huffer took,
that sort are known of well enough via harbour equipment catalogs, and the other
one isn't on the secret list either, and Smith & Malton's are making three more
of them, including two for foreign customers.".
  "OK, OK, so the navy bought a couple of submersible dredgers," said Blaster,
"one grab and one suction, and we've delivered them. What about it? Something
needs dredging somewhere, likely. Lets go through the channels for some music. I
like pop music with plenty of beat".
  "Link it straight to your hearing brain cortex, please." said Optimus, "The
town doesn't want it. I know you like your music loud.".
  They returned to the harbour in the morning. The trailers were on the slip,
empty. The load sheets trailed from them. Optimus asked for a fire engine to
hose down the trailers and load sheets to prevent rust, since they had been
submerged in salt water for a tide to float the loads off. They set off home,
unloaded and much faster. On the M73 they turned onto the M8 to Glasgow docks
for a return load which they transshipped to the consignee's transport in the
Hilton Park service station's lorry park on the M6. People gawped at them as
usual, for they transformed to robot form and unloaded and loaded the goods
themselves. They at last returned to Smith & Malton's and there left the
trailers and the load sheets, and one of Smith & Malton's workmen came with a
query.